Whither Civility?

In the latest example of personalizing political differences, Sarah Huckabee Sanders was asked to leave a suburban restaurant because of the staff's discomfort in serving her. Not only is this ridiculous on its face, it is also bad business. Do we as a nation really want to walk down that path where service is contingent on agreeing politically with the owner of a business? The restaurant then received a deluge of negative reviews from Trump supporters on various platforms while progressives gave it five stars. Now the restaurant's web site has been hacked.

All of this is just part of a continual path into the gutter where debating and discussing political differences is replaced by personal attacks. Something important is lost when we cannot stand to even be in the same room as someone whose politics we disagree with. Of course I wouldn't want to break bread with a member of the Ku Klux Klan or a revolutionary minded communist, but we aren't talking about the crazies out there.

This latest incident takes place during a fierce and emotional debate regarding separating children from their parents who have crossed into the country illegally or who are petitioning for asylum.  This is a result of a ramped up "zero tolerance" policy at the border, one that I disagree with. Zero tolerance is what gets an elementary student suspended for making a pop tart into the shape of a gun.
In any case, it is illogical and immoral to separate young children from their parents over a crime which is a misdemeanor. However, there are many ways to protest policies you disagree with. one of them should not be withholding service from someone on the other side. Not only is it not civil but it is also ineffective. I doubt that missing out on the frog legs would cause Mrs. Sanders to change her opinions.

Lack of civility is nothing new. Modern history abounds with examples from a congressman shouting "you lie" at President Obama at a State of the Union address to protesters waving bloody hands at Condoleeza Rice, to Ted Nugent inviting an American president to, "suck on my machine gun." We have so personalized our differences that anything seems to be on the table. I am astounded at how many on the left defend this latest incident even as people like Bernie Sanders decry it.

Nor does the current president innocent of blame in all of this. We have elected a president who lacks even the basic ability to engage those who disagree with him. His Twitter feed attacks groups or individuals on a daily basis, many in crude terms or derogatory nicknames. He must be the most thin-skinned person I have ever seen in national office.  He has taken the bile already out there and turbocharged it. He's a big part of the problem, but even if he resigned tomorrow the issue would still remain.

As a people we have lost our way and it is only exacerbated in the current climate. Its not enough the Obama was wrong on health care. He hates America and wants to destroy it! Its not enough that Trump is wrong on immigration. The Holocaust has begun! Don't like Elizabeth Warren's policies? She's a communist Pocohontas!! Many think the other half of their friends, neighbors, and co-workers are the enemy.

You know what the great thing about it is? You can feed your rage daily. You rarely have to interact with ideas or opinions that you don't like. Think Trump is on God's mission to save America from those traitorous Dems? Watch Fox and read Breitbart. You think Republicans are Satan's spawn? Head right over to MSNBC and feast on the Huffington Post. There are decent people to be found across the spectrum, but many of us aren't ready to hear each other. Its so much easier to be a circular nation of victims and haters. Red Hen owner, Michael Moore, Steve King, Maxine Waters, and others are there for you to drink deeply from the cup of victimhood and paranoia, providing sustenance for attacking the "other".

Civility really boils down to the Golden Rule. It is is more important that we actually listen to what the other side is saying and attempt a reasoned debate and discussion. I read daily articles that I profoundly disagree with, but I still read them. I don't need to read a lot of things I do agree with. I already know what I think! I don't need it reinforced, even though that sometimes has value. I don't need to be told over and over how evil half of the country and the politicians that represent them are. Thats how I want to be treated. I don't want to be judged or demonized based on a letter after my name, a bumper sticker on my car, or a "like" on Facebook. Most of us are more complex than that, and often we are closer to the thinking of each other than we realize.

I believe that Donald Trump is a blight on the presidency, the conservative movement, and on the Republican Party. His brand of politics is the polar opposite of everything I believe in, and many of his policies are illogical, rooted in misunderstanding, and in some cases immoral. That being said I don't hate the man. He's the symptom of a greater disease of resentment, anger, bigotry, and yes, the failings of mainstream politics. He won a primary with a number of highly qualified candidates who did not possess his failings, but win it he did. He received 60 million of our votes. That needs to be understood fully. I love and respect some of his voters even as I disagree with them.

I don't own a restaurant, but if Mr. Trump walked in I would great him politely, and try to serve him the meal of his life. If given the opportunity I might try to engage him and express some of my thoughts. Would it do any good? Probably not...but civility has to start somewhere. If everyone waits for the other side to go first it will never happen.

As in so many facets of life, good things happen one person at a time.